








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2953 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,722 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4087 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3435 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2276 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2924 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $420,252 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 140 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ernest | 44% | 79 |
| #8 | yeEhAmMer | 44% | 127 |
| #9 | ⛟ Van Man ⛟ | 43% | 75 |
| #10 | tanorY | 41% | 17 |
| #11 | chrEEz | 32% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛟ Van Man ⛟ | 12 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Bleach | 11 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | yeEhAmMer | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | chrEEz | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | ernest | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bleach | 732 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | opendeur | 428 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | yeEhAmMer | 419 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #4 | ZARKywOw | 126 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | ernest | 115 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛟ Van Man ⛟ | +1.92 | 74 | 41 |
| #2 | Mytt3 | +1.32 | 61 | 65 |
| #3 | opendeur | +0.94 | 68 | 67 |
| #4 | tanorY | +0.19 | 61 | 59 |
| #5 | yeEhAmMer | -0.64 | 44 | 76 |





