








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 410 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6545 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,816 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5263 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5430 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5568 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4555 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,504,894 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 160 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Private | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | Tazmo | 61% | 36 |
| #3 | ZigZee | 61% | 38 |
| #4 | Sqerl | 58% | 67 |
| #5 | Void_NGU | 57% | 215 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rayne | 22 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Void_NGU | 12 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Sqerl | 9 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | Private | 6 | 0.0097 |
| #5 | e30.jp | 5 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Void_NGU | 814 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #2 | Rayne | 584 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | Tazmo | 292 | 0.37 | 9 min |
| #4 | Sqerl | 262 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #5 | ZigZee | 184 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Void_NGU | +3.61 | 84 | 62 |
| #2 | Private | +1.61 | 63 | 65 |
| #3 | Tazmo | +1.05 | 86 | 68 |
| #4 | Levi | +0.93 | 75 | 67 |
| #5 | Sqerl | -0.14 | 74 | 68 |





