








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 75 matches | ||
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




137 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5270 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,338 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2845 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2645 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1567 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2281 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $630,412 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marco Pyright | 58% | 77 |
| #2 | rAYY | 58% | 33 |
| #3 | Herslow | 55% | 47 |
| #4 | Stine | 55% | 31 |
| #5 | DooBie_Doo | 55% | 218 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | OBITO.exe | 53% | 74 |
| #7 | yeeaaaaaaaah | 48% | 21 |
| #8 | NySouwix | 44% | 27 |
| #9 | Fukkon^ | 42% | 26 |
| #10 | KARM | 41% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KARM | 23 | 0.0168 |
| #2 | DooBie_Doo | 21 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Marco Pyright | 19 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | yeeaaaaaaaah | 9 | 0.0234 |
| #5 | Fukkon^ | 8 | 0.0152 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DooBie_Doo | 361 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #2 | KARM | 288 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | OBITO.exe | 235 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | Stine | 175 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #5 | Herslow | 122 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akaza | +3.93 | 75 | 57 |
| #2 | rAYY | +3.37 | 84 | 64 |
| #3 | yeeaaaaaaaah | +1.08 | 61 | 40 |
| #4 | Marco Pyright | +0.34 | 75 | 32 |
| #5 | KARM | +0.01 | 64 | 59 |





