








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 88 matches | ||
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4781 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,881 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4896 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3847 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1488 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 3650 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $931,130 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shockwave | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | DooBie_Doo | 62% | 42 |
| #3 | Fukkon^ | 62% | 26 |
| #4 | Achel | 59% | 32 |
| #5 | akaza | 58% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | 𝔈𝔫𝔢𝔯𝔬 | 55% | 42 |
| #8 | Stine | 54% | 150 |
| #9 | Marco Pyright | 49% | 162 |
| #10 | CVjunior | 45% | 38 |
| #11 | kassoulet blesser | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marco Pyright | 32 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | akaza | 13 | 0.0198 |
| #3 | kassoulet blesser | 12 | 0.0187 |
| #4 | DooBie_Doo | 8 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | Stine | 6 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stine | 652 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #2 | 𝔈𝔫𝔢𝔯𝔬 | 142 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | Marco Pyright | 126 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Sarmoc | 106 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Achel | 105 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rAYY | +3.49 | 85 | 67 |
| #2 | Shockwave | +3.15 | 94 | 33 |
| #3 | akaza | +2.00 | 60 | 53 |
| #4 | Achel | +1.53 | 76 | 46 |
| #5 | Sarmoc | +1.30 | 81 | 60 |





