








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 205 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1713 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,188 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1555 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2278 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1495 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1860 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $684,701 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 462 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rud1 | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | fr1day | 52% | 87 |
| #3 | Dennis the menace | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | Bierhals♿ | 47% | 58 |
| #5 | CJay | 40% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | fr1day | 52% | 87 |
| #3 | Dennis the menace | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | Bierhals♿ | 47% | 58 |
| #5 | CJay | 40% | 58 |
| #6 | C4storTroy | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fr1day | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | CJay | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | rud1 | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Bierhals♿ | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Dennis the menace | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fr1day | 306 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Bierhals♿ | 117 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | CJay | 111 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | rud1 | 97 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | C4storTroy | 61 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fr1day | +1.54 | 90 | 54 |
| #2 | CJay | +1.50 | 69 | 59 |
| #3 | Bierhals♿ | +0.03 | 79 | 63 |
| #4 | Dennis the menace | -0.44 | 36 | 77 |
| #5 | rud1 | -0.49 | 42 | 70 |





