








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 278 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2644 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,976 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1649 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1062 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1513 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1752 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,523,557 of utility $247 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 330 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | mAKKO | 55% | 40 |
| #7 | Jopsa | 52% | 23 |
| #8 | SenZeJ | 51% | 59 |
| #9 | Iiro | 49% | 84 |
| #10 | Kääbik | 46% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kääbik | 24 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | Iiro | 11 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Sep | 7 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | SenZeJ | 6 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Råbe | 5 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kääbik | 394 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | jääkuubik | 197 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #3 | Iiro | 181 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | mAKKO | 107 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | SenZeJ | 105 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sep | +3.53 | 85 | 59 |
| #2 | Råbe | +2.89 | 90 | 72 |
| #3 | Kääbik | +2.19 | 88 | 61 |
| #4 | jääkuubik | +1.73 | 84 | 65 |
| #5 | SenZeJ | +1.14 | 88 | 61 |





