








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 465 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 203 matches | ||
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3805 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,024 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2044 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2414 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1945 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2621 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,515,070 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 438 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | od0 🐻 | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | toumai | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | Cimmo | 72% | 18 |
| #4 | Taigajj | 72% | 18 |
| #5 | aso | 68% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Snowman | 57% | 70 |
| #12 | Kääbik | 55% | 163 |
| #13 | ps13 | 54% | 28 |
| #14 | Torkuttaja | 52% | 21 |
| #15 | lihapulla27 | 51% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kääbik | 16 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Sep | 8 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | lihapulla27 | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Iiro | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Sofail | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kääbik | 576 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #2 | Snowman | 321 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #3 | Sofail | 221 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | jääkuubik | 199 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | Sep | 114 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kääbik | +1.92 | 86 | 69 |
| #2 | Sep | +1.47 | 83 | 62 |
| #3 | Sofail | +1.26 | 83 | 75 |
| #4 | Cimmo | +1.17 | 93 | 54 |
| #5 | ps13 | +1.08 | 82 | 72 |





