








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1198 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,730 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2054 | 43% |
| Smokes | 735 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1086 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 855 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $553,635 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andeeri | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Zaca | 56% | 89 |
| #3 | tattz | 55% | 42 |
| #4 | Quendreal | 53% | 64 |
| #5 | Kaelay | 47% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Quendreal | 53% | 64 |
| #5 | Kaelay | 47% | 135 |
| #6 | Heppatyttö | 45% | 110 |
| #7 | ivdza. | 43% | 70 |
| #8 | Zonattu | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaelay | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Zaca | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | ivdza. | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Quendreal | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | tattz | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zaca | 185 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | Quendreal | 132 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Heppatyttö | 108 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | tattz | 77 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Andeeri | 67 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quendreal | +4.77 | 73 | 54 |
| #2 | Andeeri | +4.73 | 75 | 68 |
| #3 | tattz | +4.15 | 67 | 62 |
| #4 | Zaca | +1.76 | 46 | 59 |
| #5 | Juzdabuzda | +1.17 | 66 | 55 |





