








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1494 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,188 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 627 | 9% |
| Smokes | 904 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 2691 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 2966 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,341,821 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andeeri | 59% | 70 |
| #2 | tattz | 57% | 49 |
| #3 | Zaca | 49% | 172 |
| #4 | Zonattu | 49% | 78 |
| #5 | Heppatyttö | 45% | 221 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Zonattu | 49% | 78 |
| #5 | Heppatyttö | 45% | 221 |
| #6 | Quendreal | 45% | 181 |
| #7 | Juzdabuzda | 43% | 70 |
| #8 | Kaelay | 43% | 288 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaelay | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Zaca | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Heppatyttö | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | tattz | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Juzdabuzda | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quendreal | 355 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | Zaca | 340 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Andeeri | 227 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | Heppatyttö | 216 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | Juzdabuzda | 175 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andeeri | +5.46 | 75 | 71 |
| #2 | Quendreal | +4.20 | 72 | 56 |
| #3 | tattz | +3.99 | 57 | 65 |
| #4 | Zaca | +2.69 | 52 | 63 |
| #5 | Juzdabuzda | +1.76 | 63 | 57 |





