








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 301 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 36 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4493 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,944 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3071 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2388 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2845 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2640 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,956,527 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Octansea | 54% | 39 |
| #2 | Zonattu | 54% | 28 |
| #3 | Juzdabuzda | 53% | 64 |
| #4 | tattz | 52% | 64 |
| #5 | Andeeri | 51% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Andeeri | 51% | 70 |
| #6 | Zaca | 49% | 251 |
| #7 | Heppatyttö | 48% | 190 |
| #8 | Kaelay | 47% | 244 |
| #9 | ivdza. | 45% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zaca | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Kaelay | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Heppatyttö | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | ivdza. | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | tattz | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zaca | 482 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | Andeeri | 201 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Heppatyttö | 171 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | Juzdabuzda | 157 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | tattz | 101 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quendreal | +2.78 | 69 | 56 |
| #2 | Andeeri | +2.67 | 69 | 67 |
| #3 | tattz | +2.44 | 58 | 64 |
| #4 | Zaca | +1.23 | 52 | 62 |
| #5 | Juzdabuzda | -0.34 | 64 | 55 |





