








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 874 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 500 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6037 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,226 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5269 | 18% |
| Smokes | 6076 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 10649 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 7232 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,906,595 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2353 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jackie legs | 26 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | SCREAM | 18 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | Nightwere 140MS REACTION TIME | 15 | 0.0120 |
| #4 | ✪Magic | 13 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Scrumpy | 9 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scrumpy | 977 | 0.22 | 26 min |
| #2 | Gabbor | 768 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #3 | Makee | 635 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #4 | Twonk ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ | 582 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #5 | TWO-TIER KEIR | 299 | 0.13 | 8 min |





