








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
624 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,138 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 600 | 28% |
| Smokes | 356 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 611 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 571 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $211,503 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steeeeeve | 72% | 29 |
| #2 | bröter blep | 71% | 24 |
| #3 | Kerri | 66% | 44 |
| #4 | Cpt. Haggis | 64% | 28 |
| #5 | Vladimir | 62% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Kerri | 66% | 44 |
| #4 | Cpt. Haggis | 64% | 28 |
| #5 | Vladimir | 62% | 50 |
| #6 | Multi21 | 61% | 67 |
| #7 | Slipshod | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Multi21 | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Kerri | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Slipshod | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Vladimir | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Cpt. Haggis | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Multi21 | 132 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | Cpt. Haggis | 78 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Kerri | 66 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Vladimir | 62 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | bröter blep | 49 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steeeeeve | +2.97 | 75 | 62 |
| #2 | Kerri | +2.43 | 69 | 69 |
| #3 | Multi21 | +1.55 | 52 | 75 |
| #4 | bröter blep | +0.62 | 75 | 71 |
| #5 | Vladimir | +0.23 | 32 | 65 |





