








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 179 matches | ||
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3298 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,070 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2402 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3462 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2629 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1577 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,851,457 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kerm | 62% | 50 |
| #2 | Kerri | 55% | 222 |
| #3 | bröter blep | 54% | 102 |
| #4 | Cpt. Haggis | 53% | 248 |
| #5 | Multi21 | 52% | 306 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Cpt. Haggis | 53% | 248 |
| #5 | Multi21 | 52% | 306 |
| #6 | Steeeeeve | 48% | 245 |
| #7 | Slipshod | 46% | 118 |
| #8 | mon_sween | 41% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cpt. Haggis | 13 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Multi21 | 12 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Steeeeeve | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Kerri | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | mon_sween | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cpt. Haggis | 855 | 0.17 | 22 min |
| #2 | Multi21 | 651 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #3 | Kerri | 483 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #4 | Steeeeeve | 266 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #5 | mon_sween | 232 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steeeeeve | +2.02 | 78 | 59 |
| #2 | Kerri | +1.34 | 69 | 70 |
| #3 | Multi21 | +0.45 | 48 | 74 |
| #4 | bröter blep | +0.24 | 77 | 74 |
| #5 | Vladimir | -0.42 | 38 | 64 |





