








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 188 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 152 matches | ||
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3897 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,373 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5159 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7010 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 2497 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 3707 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $927,856 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 286 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kerm | 66% | 44 |
| #2 | bröter blep | 55% | 85 |
| #3 | Cpt. Haggis | 55% | 156 |
| #4 | Vladimir | 55% | 222 |
| #5 | Multi21 | 54% | 235 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | ♡ Mr. Delta Wolfsky ♡ | 48% | 165 |
| #11 | SmOkeH | 46% | 133 |
| #12 | Ol' Dirty Buzzard | 42% | 76 |
| #13 | mon_sween | 40% | 35 |
| #14 | local | 33% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Multi21 | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | SmOkeH | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Steeeeeve | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Cpt. Haggis | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Vladimir | 4 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cpt. Haggis | 611 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #2 | Multi21 | 524 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #3 | ♡ Mr. Delta Wolfsky ♡ | 332 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | Vladimir | 249 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #5 | Steeeeeve | 199 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ Mr. Delta Wolfsky ♡ | +2.73 | 77 | 61 |
| #2 | Steeeeeve | +1.82 | 77 | 60 |
| #3 | Kerri | +0.89 | 67 | 67 |
| #4 | local | +0.88 | 88 | 45 |
| #5 | Multi21 | +0.18 | 50 | 74 |





