








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 498 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2410 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,769 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2402 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1915 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1623 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1829 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $659,017 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 874 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHISEL CHIN CHUCK | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | Serious Series: Serious Punch | 68% | 38 |
| #3 | Nader | 68% | 91 |
| #4 | yumbingus | 67% | 12 |
| #5 | The Atomic QLDer | 66% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | clug/hc | 60% | 124 |
| #9 | Procro- | 60% | 80 |
| #10 | onliner | 59% | 41 |
| #11 | m.salah | 57% | 14 |
| #12 | mae/hc | 56% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clug/hc | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | MADVILLAIN | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Nader | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | onliner | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | snakeboy439 | 3 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clug/hc | 285 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | The Atomic QLDer | 137 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Procro- | 136 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | mae/hc | 133 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Nader | 129 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THRILA | +2.96 | 82 | 58 |
| #2 | MADVILLAIN | +2.63 | 83 | 75 |
| #3 | clug/hc | +0.72 | 73 | 54 |
| #4 | mae/hc | +0.45 | 72 | 59 |
| #5 | yumbingus | +0.24 | 83 | 56 |





