








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1333 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,566 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1549 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1063 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1097 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 857 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $380,212 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | MAR | 48% | 23 |
| #9 | navi - kelkkö sauc3 | 47% | 45 |
| #10 | flouZi | 45% | 11 |
| #11 | Samppa | 45% | 22 |
| #12 | olli | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frd | 7 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | DubbaDuulix★ | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | e2 | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | navi - kelkkö sauc3 | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Samppa | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DubbaDuulix★ | 330 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | e2 | 219 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | frd | 112 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Möyhentäjä | 61 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | MAR | 58 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frd | +3.93 | 86 | 56 |
| #2 | Flint | +1.75 | 85 | 67 |
| #3 | jupe | +0.36 | 78 | 61 |
| #4 | flouZi | +0.31 | 50 | 81 |
| #5 | DubbaDuulix★ | +0.18 | 73 | 64 |





