










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 267 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4801 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,407 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11634 | 40% |
| Smokes | 7700 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4658 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 5415 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $403,658 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 439 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zyratin | 68% | 63 |
| #2 | yerba make | 64% | 129 |
| #3 | JonesBigassTruckRental&Storage | 63% | 181 |
| #4 | Jonesii | 63% | 168 |
| #5 | Sponsorimatias | 62% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonesii | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | nono | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | yerba make | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | neitsyt jartsa | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Sponsorimatias | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nono | 803 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #2 | neitsyt jartsa | 620 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #3 | JonesBigassTruckRental&Storage | 446 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #4 | yerba make | 302 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | Mäkisen Sirkka | 268 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomppeliib | +5.65 | 77 | 80 |
| #2 | Zyratin | +2.46 | 59 | 71 |
| #3 | Jonesii | +2.31 | 66 | 52 |
| #4 | yerba make | +1.25 | 44 | 67 |
| #5 | Mäkisen Sirkka | -0.62 | 46 | 73 |





