








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3380 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,014 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3635 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4420 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3566 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3393 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,038,048 of utility $247 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 886 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mike penis | 58% | 53 |
| #2 | New_Jigger | 57% | 37 |
| #3 | C0UNCIL | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | adPEXtwinDoNG | 49% | 144 |
| #5 | 4klift opr8r | 49% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Lehnburger | 44% | 219 |
| #8 | Phillip K. Dog | 44% | 96 |
| #9 | jimin stan | 43% | 61 |
| #10 | BOOF | 38% | 21 |
| #11 | God's Only SOn | 38% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reuben | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Lehnburger | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | adPEXtwinDoNG | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Phillip K. Dog | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | God's Only SOn | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lehnburger | 864 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #2 | Phillip K. Dog | 508 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| #3 | adPEXtwinDoNG | 434 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | God's Only SOn | 347 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #5 | Reuben | 138 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | adPEXtwinDoNG | +2.41 | 69 | 59 |
| #2 | C0UNCIL | +2.15 | 72 | 53 |
| #3 | jimin stan | +1.53 | 68 | 54 |
| #4 | Phillip K. Dog | +0.96 | 74 | 81 |
| #5 | God's Only SOn | +0.69 | 73 | 69 |





