








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 533 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1057 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,819 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 936 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1523 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1127 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1233 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $439,886 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haemo | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Fearless | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | aimless | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | Pongle | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | AF Guppynator | 49% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AF SharkBearz | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | AF Guppynator | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Fearless | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | gunfingers | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Grummins | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AF Guppynator | 338 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | AF SharkBearz | 213 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | aimless | 68 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | wa1ve | 58 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | gunfingers | 48 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aimless | +2.69 | 84 | 62 |
| #2 | AF SharkBearz | +2.08 | 79 | 77 |
| #3 | wa1ve | +1.80 | 87 | 61 |
| #4 | Oes | +0.45 | 77 | 65 |
| #5 | Fearless | +0.31 | 78 | 45 |





