








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1382 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1162 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 113 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13777 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,691 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7930 | 19% |
| Smokes | 12319 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 8775 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 11667 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $7,053,208 of utility $235 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 717 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | RiiZe | 49% | 147 |
| #4 | Fakem1d_ | 49% | 335 |
| #5 | Bash1ra | 48% | 94 |
| #6 | jOE | 47% | 175 |
| #7 | nicozoro | 46% | 117 |





