








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4440 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 727 matches | ||
| Premier | 390 matches | ||
| Wingman | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 140 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




87 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
16346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 86,012 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 24835 | 29% |
| Smokes | 22322 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 19985 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 18870 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,236,059 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3882 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...






