








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
987 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,215 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1826 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1848 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 728 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 813 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $435,728 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rimas | 50% | 8 |
| #2 | PinkBlood | 39% | 18 |
| #3 | CluEleSs | 35% | 150 |
| #4 | MadMacs | 35% | 23 |
| #5 | Dunmer | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Dunmer | 31% | 13 |
| #6 | Man Feelings | 29% | 35 |
| #7 | Xeero | 26% | 19 |
| #8 | eMoney | 25% | 12 |
| #9 | IrishAlchemist | 24% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CluEleSs | 13 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Man Feelings | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Xeero | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | MadMacs | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | eMoney | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CluEleSs | 376 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | PinkBlood | 60 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | Man Feelings | 54 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | eMoney | 36 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | MadMacs | 21 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rimas | +5.30 | 78 | 65 |
| #2 | CluEleSs | +1.69 | 48 | 62 |
| #3 | MadMacs | +1.54 | 42 | 65 |
| #4 | PinkBlood | +1.38 | 39 | 56 |
| #5 | eMoney | +0.51 | 58 | 55 |





