








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2639 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,698 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2104 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2989 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2825 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2780 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $730,829 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 953 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MadMacs | 46% | 61 |
| #2 | PinkBlood | 41% | 27 |
| #3 | IrishAlchemist | 38% | 32 |
| #4 | m5m | 35% | 150 |
| #5 | Dunmer | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | IrishAlchemist | 38% | 32 |
| #4 | m5m | 35% | 150 |
| #5 | Dunmer | 34% | 29 |
| #6 | Xeero | 32% | 37 |
| #7 | Man Feelings | 31% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m5m | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | PinkBlood | 3 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Man Feelings | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | MadMacs | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Xeero | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m5m | 654 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #2 | Man Feelings | 89 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | PinkBlood | 86 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | MadMacs | 78 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dunmer | 28 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PinkBlood | +1.74 | 41 | 56 |
| #2 | CluEleSs | +1.45 | 52 | 62 |
| #3 | MadMacs | +1.08 | 47 | 67 |
| #4 | IrishAlchemist | -1.59 | 17 | 8 |
| #5 | m5m | -1.72 | 28 | 54 |





