








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
178 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4 | 13% |
| Smokes | 9 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 11 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $17,481 of utility $25 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rimas | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Mackin | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | PinkBlood | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | MadMacs | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | SeriousSurge | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MadMacs | 1 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Xeero | 1 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CluEleSs | 88 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | m5m | 79 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | Man Feelings | 19 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | MadMacs | 18 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | PinkBlood | 17 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rimas | +10.12 | 86 | 41 |
| #2 | PinkBlood | +3.85 | 34 | 69 |
| #3 | CluEleSs | +2.43 | 54 | 63 |
| #4 | MadMacs | +2.04 | 56 | 66 |
| #5 | IrishAlchemist | -1.47 | 16 | 8 |





