








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
265 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,129 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 299 | 26% |
| Smokes | 319 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 236 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 275 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $64,947 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dunmer | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | IrishAlchemist | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | MadMacs | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | PantiePollution | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | Xeero | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CluEleSs | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | m5m | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | MadMacs | 1 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Xeero | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m5m | 104 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| #2 | CluEleSs | 63 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Rimas | 29 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| #4 | Man Feelings | 19 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | MadMacs | 18 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PantiePollution | +5.55 | 84 | 41 |
| #2 | Rimas | +3.45 | 85 | 58 |
| #3 | MadMacs | +3.24 | 47 | 69 |
| #4 | PinkBlood | +1.81 | 42 | 55 |
| #5 | CluEleSs | +0.34 | 46 | 60 |





