








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
953 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,362 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 682 | 29% |
| Smokes | 564 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 701 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 415 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $666,018 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 116 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HCB.Darren | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Spanky wit da Glock | 49% | 94 |
| #3 | Corn | 45% | 31 |
| #4 | jar jar blinks | 40% | 15 |
| #5 | Molester Baggins | Jim's Pizzas | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Corn | 45% | 31 |
| #4 | jar jar blinks | 40% | 15 |
| #5 | Molester Baggins | Jim's Pizzas | 38% | 8 |
| #6 | A4YM | 38% | 16 |
| #7 | PrimZe | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spanky wit da Glock | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Corn | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | A4YM | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | HCB.Darren | 1 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Molester Baggins | Jim's Pizzas | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spanky wit da Glock | 163 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | PrimZe | 92 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | Corn | 86 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Molester Baggins | Jim's Pizzas | 62 | 0.34 | 2 min |
| #5 | HCB.Darren | 53 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Molester Baggins | Jim's Pizzas | +7.17 | 85 | 62 |
| #2 | HCB.Darren | +5.71 | 78 | 68 |
| #3 | Spanky wit da Glock | +1.98 | 69 | 59 |
| #4 | PrimZe | +0.24 | 61 | 59 |
| #5 | Corn | -0.51 | 49 | 66 |





