








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
546 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,076 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 574 | 28% |
| Smokes | 561 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 450 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 491 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $135,399 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PrimZe | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | HCB.Darren | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | Molester Baggins | Jim's Pizzas | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | Corn | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | Spanky wit da Glock | 48% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Molester Baggins | Jim's Pizzas | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | Corn | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | Spanky wit da Glock | 48% | 42 |
| #6 | Bugz | 38% | 16 |
| #7 | HCB.Rain | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HCB.Darren | 2 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | Spanky wit da Glock | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Corn | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Molester Baggins | Jim's Pizzas | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Molester Baggins | Jim's Pizzas | 97 | 0.36 | 3 min |
| #2 | HCB.Darren | 72 | 0.35 | 2 min |
| #3 | Spanky wit da Glock | 70 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Corn | 60 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | PrimZe | 20 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HCB.Darren | +6.23 | 84 | 68 |
| #2 | Molester Baggins | Jim's Pizzas | +4.84 | 76 | 74 |
| #3 | PrimZe | +0.87 | 66 | 62 |
| #4 | Spanky wit da Glock | +0.09 | 65 | 61 |
| #5 | A4YM | -2.16 | 51 | 51 |





