










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
962 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,390 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 476 | 20% |
| Smokes | 293 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 854 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 767 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $685,375 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 425 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Antwa | 57% | 35 |
| #2 | eXe^ | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | BabyBunnee | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | Dentist | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | ★ Ana R Chy ™ | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tac le Berry | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Poetry | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | eXe^ | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Shake | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | ZaЯude | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tac le Berry | 220 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | ZaЯude | 163 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | Antwa | 92 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | BabyBunnee | 62 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | <° T1GR4 °/> | 48 | 0.06 | 1 min |





