










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 145 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 238 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 73 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3424 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,374 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 256 | 8% |
| Smokes | 766 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 884 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1468 | 44% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,306,825 of utility $299 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GaZ | 5 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | <° T1GR4 °/> | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Tac le Berry | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Shake | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | KainRo | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^らn☆fu WWG1WGA | 286 | 0.33 | 8 min |
| #2 | Tac le Berry | 243 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | ZaЯude | 227 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | <° T1GR4 °/> | 179 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | GaZ | 100 | 0.15 | 3 min |





