








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 468 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 496 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6584 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,439 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6339 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6531 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6430 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4139 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,028,134 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 280 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | c9q9md ☺ | 52% | 366 |
| #9 | Tangerudbakken | 50% | 70 |
| #10 | sly groper | 50% | 120 |
| #11 | Fnagel | 48% | 122 |
| #12 | DJ DRINK TO MUCH | 43% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sly groper | 13 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | c9q9md ☺ | 10 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Loke | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Dongslap | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Fnagel | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fnagel | 318 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | Dongslap | 303 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | sly groper | 290 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | c9q9md ☺ | 250 | 0.03 | 7 min |
| #5 | RoHo | 218 | 0.16 | 6 min |





