








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 473 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 758 matches | ||
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7819 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,999 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4399 | 16% |
| Smokes | 9219 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 7724 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5657 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,161,163 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 347 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | andrs | 63% | 57 |
| #2 | sadsatan1337 | 56% | 94 |
| #3 | Dongslap | 54% | 196 |
| #4 | Alexmackzie | 53% | 64 |
| #5 | milk truck just arive | 53% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | milk truck just arive | 53% | 188 |
| #6 | sly groper | 51% | 128 |
| #7 | c9q9md ☺ | 48% | 162 |
| #8 | DJ DRINK TO MUCH | 45% | 110 |
| #9 | Ghost Crusader | 40% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sly groper | 13 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Dongslap | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | sadsatan1337 | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | DJ DRINK TO MUCH | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Ghost Crusader | 4 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | milk truck just arive | 582 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #2 | Dongslap | 496 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #3 | sly groper | 337 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | sadsatan1337 | 227 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Alexmackzie | 177 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | andrs | +4.30 | 93 | 62 |
| #2 | Dongslap | +2.08 | 88 | 74 |
| #3 | milk truck just arive | +1.18 | 66 | 68 |
| #4 | sadsatan1337 | +1.11 | 74 | 46 |
| #5 | c9q9md ☺ | +0.59 | 83 | 30 |





