








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1669 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,701 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 558 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1208 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1836 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1099 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $455,938 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sly groper | 49% | 75 |
| #2 | Ghost Crusader | 48% | 60 |
| #3 | Dongslap | 47% | 100 |
| #4 | c9q9md ☺ | 47% | 83 |
| #5 | Loke | 45% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Ghost Crusader | 48% | 60 |
| #3 | Dongslap | 47% | 100 |
| #4 | c9q9md ☺ | 47% | 83 |
| #5 | Loke | 45% | 110 |
| #6 | milk truck just arive | 43% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sly groper | 10 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Dongslap | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | c9q9md ☺ | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Ghost Crusader | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | milk truck just arive | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dongslap | 225 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | sly groper | 193 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | milk truck just arive | 188 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Loke | 100 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | c9q9md ☺ | 28 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dongslap | +1.90 | 87 | 69 |
| #2 | c9q9md ☺ | +1.38 | 85 | 28 |
| #3 | milk truck just arive | +1.26 | 67 | 66 |
| #4 | DJ DRINK TO MUCH | -0.61 | 59 | 49 |
| #5 | sly groper | -1.05 | 58 | 65 |





