








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 402 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 326 matches | ||
| Wingman | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5652 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,920 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1228 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2161 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2762 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 769 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,863,746 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 170 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prez 🌪 | 72% | 29 |
| #2 | Tangerudbakken | 55% | 106 |
| #3 | milk truck just arive | 52% | 366 |
| #4 | Dongslap | 50% | 76 |
| #5 | Fnagel | 50% | 221 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Fnagel | 50% | 221 |
| #6 | Loke | 48% | 162 |
| #7 | DJ DRINK TO MUCH | 47% | 83 |
| #8 | sly groper | 46% | 151 |
| #9 | Ghost Crusader | 43% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sly groper | 13 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | milk truck just arive | 10 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | DJ DRINK TO MUCH | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Ghost Crusader | 7 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | Loke | 6 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | milk truck just arive | 1050 | 0.14 | 30 min |
| #2 | Fnagel | 484 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #3 | sly groper | 445 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #4 | Dongslap | 205 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | Loke | 192 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | milk truck just arive | +1.88 | 68 | 66 |
| #2 | Dongslap | +1.72 | 86 | 73 |
| #3 | c9q9md ☺ | +1.62 | 82 | 33 |
| #4 | prez 🌪 | +0.39 | 66 | 53 |
| #5 | Loke | -0.94 | 70 | 55 |





