








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2178 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,398 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2439 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1597 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2113 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1249 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $720,654 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1065 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | justaplant#friduisafurry | 44% | 64 |
| #7 | Lightning McQueef | 43% | 100 |
| #8 | Rust 銹 | 41% | 29 |
| #9 | danash_ | 41% | 37 |
| #10 | Fujuman | 37% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Impulse Spender | 26 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | br0ck- | 24 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | Kerosene | 10 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | danash_ | 10 | 0.0127 |
| #5 | Lightning McQueef | 9 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | br0ck- | 1391 | 0.49 | 44 min |
| #2 | justaplant#friduisafurry | 526 | 0.39 | 15 min |
| #3 | Impulse Spender | 453 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #4 | Lightning McQueef | 300 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #5 | munchy | 260 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | br0ck- | +4.13 | 85 | 88 |
| #2 | munchy | +3.75 | 78 | 64 |
| #3 | justaplant#friduisafurry | +2.23 | 79 | 73 |
| #4 | Impulse Spender | +2.01 | 52 | 63 |
| #5 | danash_ | +1.40 | 64 | 56 |





