








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 244 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 321 matches | ||
| Premier | 233 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 100 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




141 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10398 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 55,620 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 24826 | 45% |
| Smokes | 6977 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 12425 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 11392 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $427,941 of utility $22 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | munchy | 57% | 289 |
| #2 | justaplant#friduisafurry | 56% | 250 |
| #3 | Impulse Spender | 56% | 207 |
| #4 | Kerosene | 55% | 130 |
| #5 | danash_ | 53% | 197 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | danash_ | 42 | 0.0106 |
| #2 | Lightning McQueef | 32 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Fujuman | 30 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Impulse Spender | 29 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | munchy | 28 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | justaplant#friduisafurry | 2199 | 0.43 | 61 min |
| #2 | Lightning McQueef | 1345 | 0.15 | 38 min |
| #3 | munchy | 1182 | 0.20 | 31 min |
| #4 | Impulse Spender | 624 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #5 | danash_ | 608 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | br0ck- | +3.24 | 81 | 88 |
| #2 | munchy | +3.16 | 78 | 65 |
| #3 | justaplant#friduisafurry | +2.29 | 80 | 69 |
| #4 | danash_ | +0.36 | 62 | 60 |
| #5 | Impulse Spender | -0.56 | 50 | 61 |





