








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 211 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 192 matches | ||
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,621 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3292 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3180 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 6166 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 3983 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,051,453 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | justaplant#friduisafurry | 57% | 97 |
| #2 | Impulse Spender | 51% | 168 |
| #3 | br0ck- | 50% | 388 |
| #4 | danash_ | 49% | 139 |
| #5 | munchy | 48% | 202 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Rust 銹 | 46% | 37 |
| #8 | Lightning McQueef | 45% | 302 |
| #9 | Dennis Davis | 44% | 75 |
| #10 | Kerosene | 39% | 76 |
| #11 | ITG-MA | 37% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | br0ck- | 65 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | danash_ | 34 | 0.0122 |
| #3 | Impulse Spender | 33 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | Lightning McQueef | 26 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | munchy | 15 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | br0ck- | 3726 | 0.47 | 115 min |
| #2 | Lightning McQueef | 924 | 0.15 | 27 min |
| #3 | munchy | 847 | 0.21 | 22 min |
| #4 | justaplant#friduisafurry | 825 | 0.41 | 24 min |
| #5 | Impulse Spender | 568 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | munchy | +3.63 | 78 | 65 |
| #2 | br0ck- | +3.55 | 80 | 89 |
| #3 | justaplant#friduisafurry | +2.78 | 82 | 73 |
| #4 | danash_ | +0.99 | 66 | 62 |
| #5 | Impulse Spender | -0.49 | 50 | 62 |





