








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5109 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,845 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7198 | 45% |
| Smokes | 5000 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 468 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 3179 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $704,777 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 250 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WPC | 81% | 31 |
| #2 | яємм | 77% | 26 |
| #3 | s1k | 71% | 35 |
| #4 | big CONK | 69% | 35 |
| #5 | aeasf | 64% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | br0ck- | 2521 | 0.49 | 77 min |
| #2 | Lightning McQueef | 382 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | munchy | 341 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #4 | Impulse Spender | 269 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #5 | ITG-MA | 217 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | munchy | +3.34 | 78 | 66 |
| #2 | s1k | +2.87 | 88 | 70 |
| #3 | br0ck- | +2.85 | 81 | 88 |
| #4 | justaplant#friduisafurry | +2.64 | 82 | 67 |
| #5 | WPC | +2.54 | 73 | 60 |





