








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 920 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 479 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 143 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5921 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,856 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1875 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2961 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4692 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 2328 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,615,617 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 799 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Two Wine Glass In | 45% | 86 |
| #4 | oc | 45% | 69 |
| #5 | Trashcan | 45% | 260 |
| #6 | phugoth | 44% | 64 |
| #7 | cKR[e] | 43% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trashcan | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | ChikN | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Two Wine Glass In | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | oc | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | cKR[e] | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trashcan | 521 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #2 | Two Wine Glass In | 296 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | ChikN | 251 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | oc | 223 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | phugoth | 114 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oc | +2.04 | 76 | 72 |
| #2 | cKR[e] | +1.54 | 55 | 69 |
| #3 | FINALBOSS | +1.06 | 63 | 46 |
| #4 | Two Wine Glass In | +0.25 | 69 | 61 |
| #5 | ChikN | -0.41 | 72 | 66 |





