








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 93 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
556 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,817 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 735 | 40% |
| Smokes | 60 | 3% |
| HE Grenades | 392 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 630 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $345,255 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | LITTER B㊉X | 27% | 30 |
| #8 | Gerald | 22% | 18 |
| #9 | Target | 21% | 14 |
| #10 | Angry B♿b R♿ss | 21% | 28 |
| #11 | Melvin | 13% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smokey the Bear | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | LITTER B㊉X | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Bhein | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Boomhauer | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Angry B♿b R♿ss | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chirp | +4.27 | 83 | 68 |
| #2 | Boomhauer | +3.25 | 64 | 56 |
| #3 | Bhein | +0.75 | 41 | 53 |
| #4 | Target | +0.26 | 42 | 63 |
| #5 | Smokey the Bear | +0.02 | 63 | 59 |





