








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1589 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,782 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1396 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1634 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1422 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1330 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $461,203 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 499 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Mig0n | 53% | 66 |
| #10 | Boss Baby | 53% | 68 |
| #11 | LdW | 52% | 56 |
| #12 | Soldircop #Was? :> | 46% | 13 |
| #13 | Danny | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mig0n | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | ㊙ Al ii ve EU 🍥 | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | EASY | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Boss Baby | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | M4nod3an | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mig0n | 315 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #2 | Boss Baby | 200 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | M4nod3an | 163 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | ㊙ Al ii ve EU 🍥 | 83 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Nattermann | 77 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voras | +1.94 | 90 | 65 |
| #2 | ㊙ Al ii ve EU 🍥 | +1.74 | 92 | 64 |
| #3 | Mig0n | +1.26 | 92 | 66 |
| #4 | BOT ♿Tobi♿ | +1.04 | 34 | 49 |
| #5 | 'no.0dles | +0.06 | 76 | 70 |





