








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 594 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 372 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4045 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,650 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4183 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5069 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4370 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5028 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,353,149 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 246 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOBBY "AXE" AXELROD | 59% | 66 |
| #2 | H4PPYFACE | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | PitrU_PunisheR | 53% | 179 |
| #4 | Dom | 52% | 263 |
| #5 | dRe | 51% | 316 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Dom | 52% | 263 |
| #5 | dRe | 51% | 316 |
| #6 | select | 50% | 289 |
| #7 | Menty | 49% | 288 |
| #8 | Martin | 48% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | select | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Dom | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Menty | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Martin | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | dRe | 2 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | select | 1620 | 0.26 | 45 min |
| #2 | dRe | 1268 | 0.18 | 35 min |
| #3 | Menty | 997 | 0.16 | 27 min |
| #4 | Dom | 490 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #5 | PitrU_PunisheR | 306 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Martin | +1.06 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | Lahaine | +0.52 | 75 | 75 |
| #3 | H4PPYFACE | +0.44 | 74 | 74 |
| #4 | Menty | +0.22 | 69 | 73 |
| #5 | dRe | +0.21 | 70 | 75 |





