








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 754 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 441 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 163 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5432 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,791 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8338 | 37% |
| Smokes | 6113 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2945 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 5395 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,239,791 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 423 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PitrU_PunisheR | 52% | 187 |
| #2 | dRe | 49% | 359 |
| #3 | Lahaine | 49% | 288 |
| #4 | select | 49% | 336 |
| #5 | Dom | 48% | 306 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Lahaine | 49% | 288 |
| #4 | select | 49% | 336 |
| #5 | Dom | 48% | 306 |
| #6 | Martin | 47% | 121 |
| #7 | BOBBY "AXE" AXELROD | 46% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | select | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | dRe | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Dom | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Martin | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Lahaine | 2 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | select | 1933 | 0.26 | 55 min |
| #2 | dRe | 1432 | 0.18 | 39 min |
| #3 | Lahaine | 648 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| #4 | Dom | 561 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #5 | PitrU_PunisheR | 301 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lahaine | +0.78 | 75 | 76 |
| #2 | Martin | +0.66 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | Menty | +0.51 | 69 | 74 |
| #4 | PitrU_PunisheR | +0.26 | 54 | 71 |
| #5 | dRe | +0.11 | 72 | 74 |





