








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 777 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 441 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4878 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,401 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7315 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6572 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3723 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4791 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,848,127 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PitrU_PunisheR | 52% | 217 |
| #2 | Lahaine | 51% | 316 |
| #3 | Martin | 50% | 126 |
| #4 | select | 50% | 323 |
| #5 | Dom | 50% | 341 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Martin | 50% | 126 |
| #4 | select | 50% | 323 |
| #5 | Dom | 50% | 341 |
| #6 | Menty | 49% | 359 |
| #7 | BOBBY "AXE" AXELROD | 48% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Menty | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Dom | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | select | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Lahaine | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Martin | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | select | 1961 | 0.27 | 57 min |
| #2 | Menty | 1283 | 0.17 | 35 min |
| #3 | Lahaine | 683 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| #4 | Dom | 663 | 0.09 | 19 min |
| #5 | PitrU_PunisheR | 429 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Martin | +1.26 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | Lahaine | +0.53 | 74 | 75 |
| #3 | Menty | +0.32 | 69 | 74 |
| #4 | dRe | +0.26 | 71 | 74 |
| #5 | PitrU_PunisheR | +0.12 | 54 | 72 |





