








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 739 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 377 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3095 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,159 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3185 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3685 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4688 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4601 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,576,107 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Martin | 53% | 101 |
| #2 | PitrU_PunisheR | 53% | 205 |
| #3 | Lahaine | 52% | 263 |
| #4 | dRe | 50% | 341 |
| #5 | BOBBY "AXE" AXELROD | 49% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Lahaine | 52% | 263 |
| #4 | dRe | 50% | 341 |
| #5 | BOBBY "AXE" AXELROD | 49% | 108 |
| #6 | select | 49% | 280 |
| #7 | Menty | 48% | 306 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | select | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Menty | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | dRe | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | BOBBY "AXE" AXELROD | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Martin | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | select | 1645 | 0.26 | 48 min |
| #2 | dRe | 1375 | 0.19 | 37 min |
| #3 | Menty | 1077 | 0.16 | 30 min |
| #4 | Lahaine | 607 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #5 | PitrU_PunisheR | 369 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Martin | +1.56 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | PitrU_PunisheR | +0.54 | 52 | 70 |
| #3 | Lahaine | +0.48 | 73 | 77 |
| #4 | Menty | +0.47 | 68 | 74 |
| #5 | dRe | +0.30 | 71 | 75 |





