










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 388 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 533 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3645 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,182 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3103 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3116 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4064 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2899 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,745,086 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FRUCHTPanda | 57% | 42 |
| #2 | BENDER | Kai | 46% | 35 |
| #3 | DrMedDenRasen | 44% | 41 |
| #4 | Zeiju | 42% | 69 |
| #5 | sQuirt | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | BENDER | Kai | 46% | 35 |
| #3 | DrMedDenRasen | 44% | 41 |
| #4 | Zeiju | 42% | 69 |
| #5 | sQuirt | 42% | 31 |
| #6 | ZuLu | 40% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZuLu | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | BENDER | Kai | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Zeiju | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | FRUCHTPanda | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | sQuirt | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrMedDenRasen | 87 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | FRUCHTPanda | 45 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | sQuirt | 44 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | ZuLu | 34 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Zeiju | 31 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeiju | +0.54 | 50 | 43 |
| #2 | DrMedDenRasen | -0.44 | 42 | 67 |
| #3 | ZuLu | -0.55 | 10 | 54 |
| #4 | FRUCHTPanda | -0.59 | 35 | 63 |
| #5 | Jok3R | -0.92 | 46 | 53 |





