








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 830 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1155 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




85 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7465 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,955 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8451 | 21% |
| Smokes | 12545 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 13512 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 6447 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,960,935 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 793 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GruenSchnabel | 54% | 65 |
| #2 | Ⓢ︎Ⓘ︎Ⓖ︎Ⓖ︎Ⓘ | 53% | 138 |
| #3 | sledge_hammer_666 | 51% | 124 |
| #4 | DrMedDenRasen | 50% | 82 |
| #5 | muerfx | 44% | 301 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | sledge_hammer_666 | 51% | 124 |
| #4 | DrMedDenRasen | 50% | 82 |
| #5 | muerfx | 44% | 301 |
| #6 | Igel-Stachelbart | 41% | 88 |
| #7 | Areoon | 40% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muerfx | 24 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Ⓢ︎Ⓘ︎Ⓖ︎Ⓖ︎Ⓘ | 13 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Igel-Stachelbart | 13 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Areoon | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | sledge_hammer_666 | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muerfx | 319 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #2 | Areoon | 276 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | DrMedDenRasen | 229 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | GruenSchnabel | 136 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Igel-Stachelbart | 104 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Igel-Stachelbart | +4.72 | 47 | 52 |
| #2 | GruenSchnabel | +1.30 | 32 | 72 |
| #3 | Ⓢ︎Ⓘ︎Ⓖ︎Ⓖ︎Ⓘ | +0.81 | 24 | 43 |
| #4 | DrMedDenRasen | -0.07 | 35 | 70 |
| #5 | muerfx | -0.71 | 32 | 46 |





