








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1405 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1084 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 193 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9010 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 51,861 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12053 | 23% |
| Smokes | 12569 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 13267 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 13972 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,943,762 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sQuirt | 50% | 82 |
| #2 | GQ-Nud1 | 50% | 142 |
| #3 | War_Johnny | 48% | 60 |
| #4 | Igel-Stachelbart | 47% | 59 |
| #5 | sledge_hammer_666 | 39% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | GQ-Nud1 | 50% | 142 |
| #3 | War_Johnny | 48% | 60 |
| #4 | Igel-Stachelbart | 47% | 59 |
| #5 | sledge_hammer_666 | 39% | 80 |
| #6 | Ⓢ︎Ⓘ︎Ⓖ︎Ⓖ︎Ⓘ | 37% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ⓢ︎Ⓘ︎Ⓖ︎Ⓖ︎Ⓘ | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Igel-Stachelbart | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | War_Johnny | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | sQuirt | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | sledge_hammer_666 | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GQ-Nud1 | 134 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #2 | sQuirt | 125 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | War_Johnny | 122 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Ⓢ︎Ⓘ︎Ⓖ︎Ⓖ︎Ⓘ | 121 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Igel-Stachelbart | 59 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Igel-Stachelbart | +1.75 | 32 | 47 |
| #2 | GQ-Nud1 | +0.27 | 52 | 61 |
| #3 | War_Johnny | -0.65 | 40 | 73 |
| #4 | DrMedDenRasen | -0.69 | 39 | 67 |
| #5 | Ⓢ︎Ⓘ︎Ⓖ︎Ⓖ︎Ⓘ | -0.89 | 19 | 50 |





