








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
684 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,975 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 502 | 25% |
| Smokes | 521 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 528 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 424 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $390,385 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L0nestar | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | baker | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | 𝓶𝓪𝓽𝓽𝔂 ᴍ4ᴋ | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | gucic | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | Ho Gay | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Krycerick | 40% | 10 |
| #14 | OhJay | 40% | 25 |
| #15 | John Globson | 39% | 44 |
| #16 | dis is y im hot u aint cuz u not | 38% | 47 |
| #17 | pcoon | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sora 空 | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | ike^.- | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | OhJay | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Krycerick | 2 | 0.0098 |
| #5 | dis is y im hot u aint cuz u not | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dis is y im hot u aint cuz u not | 182 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | Sora 空 | 172 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | John Globson | 136 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | ike^.- | 84 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ho Gay | 67 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WDT | +6.42 | 89 | 31 |
| #2 | Blaze | +3.71 | 77 | 57 |
| #3 | Lumber | +2.95 | 69 | 83 |
| #4 | OhJay | +2.62 | 63 | 65 |
| #5 | Krycerick | +2.30 | 68 | 62 |





