








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
230 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,402 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 338 | 24% |
| Smokes | 394 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 401 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 269 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $137,548 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jorbon | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | Blaze | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | KEBAB ENJOYER | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | Oda Nobunaga | 36% | 28 |
| #5 | ᵈʳⁱⁿᵏⁱⁿ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ᶜᵘᵖˢ | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Mai | 23% | 13 |
| #8 | SLAYN by a #GirlBoss | 19% | 21 |
| #9 | Crippin | 17% | 6 |
| #10 | ORBON | 0% | 3 |
| #11 | Wal★Mart C⍟nnect | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SLAYN by a #GirlBoss | 4 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | Blaze | 3 | 0.0136 |
| #3 | Mateusz | 2 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | ᵈʳⁱⁿᵏⁱⁿ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ᶜᵘᵖˢ | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Jorbon | 1 | 0.0204 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᵈʳⁱⁿᵏⁱⁿ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ᶜᵘᵖˢ | 91 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | Oda Nobunaga | 88 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | Mateusz | 75 | 0.38 | 2 min |
| #4 | KEBAB ENJOYER | 72 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| #5 | SLAYN by a #GirlBoss | 57 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KEBAB ENJOYER | +3.62 | 62 | 93 |
| #2 | Mateusz | +3.24 | 69 | 91 |
| #3 | ORBON | +3.05 | 73 | 91 |
| #4 | SLAYN by a #GirlBoss | +2.59 | 70 | 49 |
| #5 | Jorbon | +1.50 | 36 | 78 |





