








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
691 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,304 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 329 | 25% |
| Smokes | 367 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 265 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 343 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $192,855 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JagrN | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | JonMF | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | Z1TCH | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | McMilde | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | Kleinert Baktung | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Z1TCH | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | McMilde | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | Kleinert Baktung | 50% | 20 |
| #6 | N1TO | 42% | 26 |
| #7 | E1K1Z | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z1TCH | 2 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | E1K1Z | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N1TO | 119 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #2 | E1K1Z | 45 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | Z1TCH | 40 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kleinert Baktung | 31 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | McMilde | 17 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JagrN | +9.03 | 72 | 39 |
| #2 | Z1TCH | +1.31 | 77 | 50 |
| #3 | ϼɪxɛʟ | +1.26 | 69 | 57 |
| #4 | Kleinert Baktung | +0.96 | 86 | 67 |
| #5 | N1TO | -0.11 | 80 | 65 |





